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More on the dragons ……….

Arrogance Dragon
The fear of vulnerability as well as the fear of being judged negatively; confusion over self-worth. People with this dragon swing from feeling inflated and special to experiencing puncture and deflation.  Their fear pattern includes aloofness, shyness, remoteness, performance, anxiety, false personas, vanity, criticalness and narcissism.  They attempt to be perfect in others’ eyes, and were compared to high standards as children.
Self-Deprecation Dragon
The fear of being inadequate or poorly equipped for life; low self-esteem, sometimes called an inferiority complex.  People with this dragon have a fear pattern that includes cringing, apologizing, shrinking, self-deflation, and inner criticism.  They avoid criticism by criticizing themselves first, and were put down as children.
Impatience Dragon
The fear that time will run out. People with this dragon rush, are intolerant, experience heavy stress, try to do too much in too short a time and are constantly in future fantasies.  They are not present, can be accident prone, and were deprived of experience as children.
Martyrdom Dragon
The fear of being trapped by circumstances or outside forces. People with this dragon complain, whine, act ‘poor me’ and are oriented toward being victims.  They are excellent at creating guilt in those around them, and were forced to be constantly obedient as children.
Greed Dragon
The fear that there is not enough to go around.  People with this dragon have a fear pattern that expresses itself in addictive behaviour, hoarding, coveting, amassing or depriving themselves and others.  Their greed tends to fixate on food, power, sex, wealth, or something.  They were abandoned as children.
Self-destruction Dragon
The fear of losing control.  People with this dragon are addictive, violent and suicidal.  They exhibit wild behaviour or desperate self-sabotage.  They may not live long because they cannot find meaning to life.  As children, they were abused and abandoned.
Stubbornness Dragon
The fear of authority and sudden change.  People with this dragon have a fear pattern that is expressed in rebelliousness, rigidity, obstinacy, argumentativeness, hardheaded behaviour, a refusal to listen and a refusal to submit.  They try to slow down events to buy time.  As children, they were given no options and were forced to do what they were told.
Each of the dragons alter’s people boundaries in significant ways.
Arrogant people create rigid boundaries around themselves to wall themselves off from hurt and criticism.  When they are in doubt about their self-worth, or if they are shy, they retreat from others.  They can also fall into intrusiveness when they assume too much importance and disregard the boundaries of others. 
People with self-deprecation are notorious for their lack of boundaries.  They are in doubt about their value and their right to be alive, so they tend to omit necessary boundaries, letting others do as they please with them. 
 Their primitive form of boundary is a brittle defensiveness that falls apart easily.  They hardly ever intrude on others’ boundaries.
Impatient people push through others’ boundaries in order to hurry them up.  They also tend to have a very poor sense of where they are.  Their boundaries can be elusive but are by no means completely absent.
Martyred people are calculating about how they allow others to intrude upon them.  They appear to have no boundaries at all, but they actually have more control than they show.  They make a business out of relinquishing their boundaries.
Greedy people are famous for intruding on others and failing to respect others’ boundaries.  However, they defend themselves against receiving and place too many rigid boundaries on themselves.  That is the deprivation side of greed.

Self-destructive people have a dual approach to boundaries.  They are difficult to reach and have rigid defenses against intimacy.  However, they tend to be sloppy about respecting others’ boundaries and they intrude on others in violent ways.
People with stubbornness have rigid, inflexible boundaries.  They draw their lines in the sand over arbitrary issues that are typically fears of oppression projected onto others.  If others crash through their brittle boundaries, they can become deeply depressed or overwhelmed with despair.  Stubborn people do not necessarily invade others’ boundaries;  they are more protective of their own.
 The following dragons are the effect or symptom of the active dragon in your psyche.
Action Dragons
Dragons that stop constructive action : martyrdom and impatience
Assimilation Dragon
The dragon that stops absorption of information : Stubbornness
Expressions Dragon
Dragons that stop expression : self-destruction and greed
Inspiration Dragon
Dragons that stop inspiration : self-deprecation and arrogance
Narrow-focused dragon
Personality fear patterns (dragons) that narrow people’s sphere of influence : martyrdom, self-deprecation and self-destruction
Pervasive developmental disorders –
Autistic disorder : stubbornness
Specific developmental disorders –
Mostly stubbornness and impatience
Disruptive behaviour disorders –
Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder : impatience
Conduct disorders : mostly self-destruction
Oppositional defiant disorder : stubbornness
Sadism : self-destruction
Voyeurism : greed, arrogance
Sexual disfunctions –
Hypoactive sexual desire disorder : greed
Sexual aversion disorder : stubbornness, arrogance
Female sexual arousal disorder : impatience, stubbornness, arrogance
Male erectile disorder : impatience, stubbornness, arrogance
Inhibited orgasm : stubbornness, martyrdom
Premature ejaculation : impatience
Sleep disorders –
Insomnia : impatience, martyrdom
Factitious disorders – martyrdom
Impulse control disorders –
Intermittent explosive disorder : self-destruction, greed
Kleptomania : self-destruction, greed
Gambling : self-destruction, greed
Pyromania : self-destruction, greed
Personality Disorders –
Paranoid : arrogance, martyrdom
Schizoid : self-deprecation
Schizotypal : arrogance, self-deprecation
Antisocial : self-destruction
Borderline : self-destruction, arrogance, self-deprecation, impatience, greed
Narcisistic : greed, arrogance
Avoidant : self-deprecation
Dependant : self-deprecation
Obsessive compulsive : arrogance, stubbornness
Passive-aggressive : stubbornness, martyrdom
 Extracted from the book Conquering your Dragons by Jose Stephens.
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Transforming your dragons

Years ago I read a powerful book written by Jose Stevens, 
entitled Transforming your Dragons;  How to turn fear patterns into personal power. 
 Here are some of the most pertinent points summarised :


Dragons are false selves created by ourselves in order to protect us from pain. They are fear related and designed to act as a defense reaction. Dragons are sustained by your thoughts, sponsoring thoughts and your deep-seated belief systems. 

Once you are aware of your dragon, you can tame it! 

The dragon only has power over you as long as you are unaware of it and that which drives it. In order to conquer your dragon you need to face your fear and begin to live your REAL self. You can achieve this by focusing on your positive aspects and by making decisions based on your strengths and not your weaknesses. You can use affirmations. 

You can use positive self-talk instead of destructive criticizing self-talk. 

You can follow this up with affirmative, self-supportive actions and habits. 

Remember that half the battle is won when you can recognize, accept and acknowledge the existence of your dragon. If you cannot recognize your own dragons, look at the mirrors offered by those closest to you. 


The Craving Dragon 
The Martyrdom/Victimhood Dragon 
The Impatience Dragon 
The Self-Destruction Dragon 
The Stubbornness Dragon 
The Pretension Dragon 
The Self-Devaluation Dragon


Complaining, resentful, guilt-inducing, ‘woe is me’ attitude, blaming, sighing, felt taken advantage of , long suffering, sacrificing, self-righteous 


Agonized, anguished, trapped, persecuted, victimized 

I am not okay. I am trapped. I must make others feel bad for causing my pain. I can win by suffering. 

 ‘Someone else/something else is always at fault, to blame for what happens to me.” The martyr feels victimised because he or she feels truly undeserving and worthless. I do not deserve anything but a rotten life. I need to suffer. I need to struggle to prove my worth. I am not worthy of having a wonderful great life. 

There is great fear that if you tell the truth about your own wants and wishes, nobody would want you. Demanding other people’s sympathy keeps you a victim. Your spiritual life might also enforce this dragon by finding glory in suffering and your self-made hell on earth. 


I create my own reality I am discovering more happiness every day 

There is a way through every problem 

I am able to have my needs fulfilled 

I am a valuable and worthwhile human being no matter what I do 

Life is getting better every day 


Tell the truth 

Stop using the strategy of manipulation; face your terror of feeling valueless. Tackle the inner rage that goes with fear. 

Draw boundaries Say No! Stop saying yes to things you do not like. Stop being ‘nice’ and ‘agreeable’. 

Stop complaining Give up the pleasure of sympathy of others. Sympathy is a poor substitute for life. 

Take responsibility Choose; see and accept alternatives – you are not ‘trapped’ except by your beliefs. 

Be willing to have fun Let others see and enjoy your pleasure – stop feeling you’ll be punished for it. 

Admit your needs Ask for help; become a team player – admit that you need the love of others 

Give up blaming and always being right It re-enforces your dragon to make others look bad and yourself look good and perfect. You don’t have to earn love by being perfect. 


Selfish, grasping, possessive, voracious, tight-fisted, covetous, materialistic, stingy, anorexic or bulimic, hoarding, promiscuous 


Deprived, hungry, unsatisfied, craving, empty, insatiable, denying, envious, craving, desirous 


I will take what I can get in place of the real thing and pretend I like it. Acquiring is a relief. Whatever I have is not what I want. Other people have what I want. I’ll have to take it. 


Just one more will bring me that feeling of satisfaction One more drink, one more takeover, one more lover, one more cookie, one more of anything will bring satisfaction – in the end they destroy all that you had, driving others away. In your spiritual life it means collecting guru’s, hunger for forbidden things – sex, material things. Craving people do not enjoy life because they are too worried about losing things, too focused on getting more of them. They live lonely lives. They are often unloved, unhappy and unfulfilled. 


The more I give, the more I get I thoroughly enjoy everything I have 

I am confident enough to face my sadness 

I love to share what I have with others 

I have everything I need or want in order to be happy 

I am completely satisfied with what I have 


Acknowledge that greed is a problem
Note the lack of satisfaction when you get what you craved 

Note how short-lived the satisfied feelings is 

Recognize your fixation Which craving keeps you tortured – food, power, sex, possessions? 

End the search Surrender, face your feelings of despair – deep down you know that what you crave will not satisfy you 

Recognize your true source of Satisfaction By denying your cravings you will identify what lies behind them – the real source of ‘hunger’ is for love and acceptance, to know your meaning and purpose in this world. 

Give to others Stop blaming others, what you give is what you get; learn to give love, time, compliments, bonuses 

Be kind and generous with yourself Accept and nurture yourself – there is no substitute. 

Enjoy what you already have – stop neglecting what you already have. Give up the search for something better. 

Make a list of what you have Give thanks for talents, relationships, abilities, material things 

Give something nice to yourself that you always wanted Every time you use it, feel glad you bought it. 


Drooping shoulders, meek, servile, lonely, resigned, disgraced, despised, intimidated, apologetic, bad posture, eyes downcast, chew lips/fingernails, pick nails, pull hair. 

OR Self-accusatory, self-condemning, self-reproaching, self-conscious, undeserving, disheartened 

BELIEF : I can’t do it, I will only be loved if I achieve. I am inadequate. 

THE BIG LIE : The more I admit to inadequacy, the better off I’ll be. The truth is that you are not winning by perpetuating an apologetic self, instead expectations of inadequacy are reinforced by experience of hopelessness and depression, feelings of defeat. Low self esteem is the cause of more illness than any other source. Lack of confidence is devastating on relationships. Half-hearted actions, fear of making decisions will re-enforce failure. The dragon destroys your spiritual life as well, since you are totally unworthy of saving – an inadequate sinner who will fail in spiritual quests. 


I am adequate to meet any experience in life. I am a lovable person, and I know I make an important contribution to the world. 

I am amazed at the success I experience in everything I do. 

I know that people like me and want to spend time with me 

I experience confidence in my ability to handle all the challenges that come my way 

I find it easy to accept compliments and praise 


Recognize that you are not the dragon It eats your energy, you are really in charge 

Acknowledge that you are afraid of being inadequate – this has caused you to underperform and avoid situations in which you should excel. Your inner child learnt to apologize constantly – liberate that child. 

Be willing to be successful – this requires taking risk – so take little risks at first, don’t start with big ones. 

Ruthlessly eliminate apologies – constant apologizing is a habit. Become conscious of the habit – but be patient with yourself, it will no be easy to modify your behaviour, keep at it. 

Expand yourself at every opportunity – breathe more deeply, stretch your body and mind and face the fears that this bring, bring some pride in yourself and into your life. Do things that will bring recognition. 

Validate yourself at all times – stop putting yourself down; switch off that inner critical voice; accept your value and your worth. Take action and make decisions. 

Give up the reward of being right about being a failure – allow yourself to succeed, to feel adequate, feel that you are equal to others. 


Vanity, witty, conceited, judgemental, sarcastic, smug, boastful, egotistical, perfectionism, supercilious, self-righteous, criticizing, self-important, big-headed, proud, cynical, inflated 

OR Self-conscious, shy, embarrassed, uncomfortable, distant, hard-to-reach, aloof, cool, suspicious, unavailable 

I must criticize others before they criticize me. I have a right because I know how to do things better. If they find fault with me I become aloof. 


You want to believe it, to impress others, but deep down you are not sure. You worry that someone will see through you and find you have no value; they will ignore you, or worse – they may humiliate you. So you keep up the act – and become lonely. You want them to draw you out (passive mode)


I am equal to, not better or worse than, other people Others experience me as warm and open 

I accept myself and other people 

I am proud of my accomplishments and do not need to advertise them, they are seen by others naturally 

I have become tolerant of criticism and learn from it 

Realize that you are not the Dragon – the true you is the person who is free of judgement 

Admit that you feel isolated – you do need others but the name-dropping, bragging and fancy clothes did not win friends – see the loneliness of your inner child and reclaim the real you 

Show vulnerability – be refreshingly imperfect – at your own pace, and with those you trust 

Pay attention to others – instead of assuming they are judging you, accept they are more concerned with their own affairs, not yours, – start noticing interesting things about people you meet, give them a word of support, of recognition, start serving others 

Let yourself be – the inner child has withdrawn, seeking shelter, believing it is unloveable and the world a frightening cruel place – nurture your inner child, accept and love yourself, you need kindness and compassion 

Release judgement of yourself and others – stop judging others; don’t criticize yourself. 

Be equal to others – respect is earned when it is also given; everyone is special in their own way. Let go of wanting to be better than others 

Come out of hiding – let go of withdrawal, aloofness, distance 

Headstrong, unco-operative, unbending, set in one’s ways, unpersuadable, immovable, contrary OR Inflexible, tenacious, relentless, willful, fixed, stuck, perverse, obstinate, determined 

BELIEF : Change is frightening 

People in authority rob me of power. They want to control me. Resist authority to preserve integrity. I can’t back down, right or wrong. Resisting the rules makes me win. My personal freedom and independence is threatened. 

THE BIG LIE : If I refuse to change, I am more powerful. 

It is a hollow victory, by refusing to budge, you alienate your friends and family; stubborn people end up victorious but alone. Others do not want to deal with such a difficult, inflexible person – this is the blueprint for loneliness and despair. It affects your health – you hearing, your back. This dragon leads to all others – arrogance, greed, impatience. This dragon can easily seem to be merely determined. Battles are often fought internally by engaging in internal dialogues. 


I have the courage to admit when I am wrong I am learning the art of compromise 

I am an excellent listener 

I like to do new and interesting things 

I enjoy implementing the suggestions and advice of others 

I learn a lot from my failures 


Learn to be flexible – Minds are like parachutes – they only work when they’re open – consider all the options 

Learn to say YES – try new things, go to new places, listen to suggestions for change 

Express yourself openly – don’t put things off – rather say you don’t want to and discuss it 

Listen with an open mind – silent opposition is a real ‘stubborn’ response – listen, and talk 

Come to terms with authority – stubbornness comes from lack of inner confidence – but you become what you resist – what happens when you become the ‘authority’? Are you oppressive too? 

Embrace change – accept that change is inevitable – we cannot stop it, use the opportunities that change brings 

Admit your mistakes and accept failure –don’t try and prove you are right when you are not, if you have made a bad decision, accept it – you won’t lose face. Stubbornness is based on fear, learn to let go. 

Reckless, daredevil, dangerous, delinquent, imprudent, suicide, wild, foolhardy, excessive, addicted, frantic, self-mutilating, anorexic, bulimic 


Out-of-control, hopeless, despairing, devastated, inconsolable, feeling futile, defeated 

I am alone and the world is scary and hostile. I am abandoned, I am bad and should be punished. I must be in control at all times. Death is better than life. 


More external control is the answer to the problem 

The truth is that over-control results in bigger problems (obsessive-compulsive behaviour) External control is no substitute for a deep sense of meaning, self-guidance and confidence. This dragon arises out of feelings of abandonment, emotional or physical abuse and unreasonable punishment as a child, a lack of self-worth, panic, despair, it seriously impacts on health, creativity and relationships 

I am able to find value and meaning in my life 

I have learned to respect myself and others 

The pain I have experienced helps me to help others 

I am strong enough to let go of the need for control 

I have wonderful people who care about me 

I am able to be a friend myself 

Realize that life is sacred – and has ultimate meaning; this needs courage 

Admit that you are out of control – don’t be afraid to give up pretending you have control; ask for help Admit that being in control is the real issue – gain control over your own reactions, the rest follows 

Set your sights on realistic goals – don’t aim unrealistically high; set small achievable goals 

Clean up the messes in your life – from romances to friendships to business – pay off your debts to others, and communicate, even if it means facing discomfort and upset 

Face your abuse of yourself and others – respect and take care of your body; abuse is an outrage 

Face the issue of abandonment – it is extraordinarily painful, it is devastating to face it – but it is essential to accept that we are each of us alone – and yet, never alone – recognize your relationship to others and the importance of that contact. You are here for a purpose, decide to live life. 

Excitable, brusque, cursory, snappish, short-tempered, short-fused, intolerant, abrupt, looking at watch often, rash, hasty, reckless, rude 


Nervous, anxious, jittery, agitated, impulsive, fretful, eager, impetuous, heedless, rushed 

BELIEF Time is something that there is too little or too much of 

THE BIG LIE: If I go faster, I can get to my goal quicker, and accomplish more – it’s better to hurry. Time is limited and it’s going to run out on you. 

The truth is that moving more slowly is more efficient and therefore more productive. Time cannot run out. Impatience contribute significantly to increased stress, especially the digestive and vascular systems, it accelerates the aging process, it hampers healing, it restricts creativity. Time is relative, stretchable, condensable. Time is a tool to be used – Be the master of time, not its slave. 

I have all the time I need to accomplish everything I want to in life 

Silence is beneficial to me 

Being mindful leads to fulfilling relationships for me 

I enjoy just being, without having to do anything 

The more relaxed my pace, the more I seem to accomplish 

Time is always on my side 


Experience unstructured time – learn to be in the moment. Enjoy spending time unplanned and spontaneously. Learn silence – cut out the endless mental dialogue. Stop being afraid of missing something and thus having radio, TV on while doing other things 

Cut out intrusions of TV, radio – develop intimacy with friends, your children by doing one thing at a time, seek peaceful environments 

Be graceful – move slowly, don’t rush, become aware of each muscle and movement 

Develop rhythm – life is rhythmic and when disrupted all goes wrong; when ill, allow time to heal; learn to relax. Communication is a rhythm of listening and speaking 

Be mindful – become aware of what you are doing while you’re doing it; notice what is happening in your mind,your body 

Learn the true nature of time – it’s all relative, the faster you go the slower you go. Mold time to suit you 

Play with time – spend the day without your watch – start weekends

….. more to follow.







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My Beloved

I breathe
You fill my nostrils
I sigh
You fill my lungs
May I receive your Love
Blessed am I
I move unexpectedly
to catch a forbidden glimpse of your face
May I sit at your feet
Blessed am I
When I fell, you picked me up
When I lost a child you held me
When I found my Call
You answered for me
May I hear your voice
Blessed am I
I dedicate to You
my Heart
I give to You
the keys of my Soul
May I receive your Light
Blessed am I
I commit to you every step I take
Every realization I gain
I offer to you
My warrior poet
Every word that tumbles from his lips
May I receive your Radiance
Blessed am I
I offer to you
My sacred dancer
Her grace and flexibility
Her swaying hips
May I receive your Grace
Blessed am I
I offer to you
My art
The stroke of my paintbrush
You hold my hand
I become the canvas
You the paint
May I receive your Presence
Blessed am I
I offer to you
My sensual Lovers
The heat of our intense desire
The smoke as it moves to the heavens
The ecstasy of coming together
 May I receive your Touch
Blessed am I
My heart belongs to You
As does my Soul
Every step is dedicated to follow
Through the freezing light
of the Underworld
into the forbidden garden of delight
facing demon and dragon
listening for the call
Oh my Beloved
Find me
Bring me back into the fold
Lead me into the perfumed garden
Into the temple of my soul.
Sri Bhaktymayi Ma Hettienne Grobler
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A Light in my Heart

I have a light in my heart
Your name on my lips
A river that flows
To the city of Light
My feet has found the path
marching to the rythm of my heart
It is true
The words that you whispered in my ears long ago
It is true
Beyond a doubt
Love does exist
In the city of Light
I have been there
I entered its gates
Love waited for me
Awakened my heart
Filled my soul
With visions of beauty
In the city of Light
How to find my way back?
Pray, who will tell?
Who will show me the way?
That is where I am meant to dwell
In the city of Light
He who walks with me
Shall show me the way
She who holds my hand
Shall lead me
She whose name is Love
He from whose eyes I drink
And from whose hands I eat
She who is the light in my heart
Shall return me to Eternity
To the city of Light
Sri BhaktimayiMa Hettienne Grobler
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jai jai maa!

Durga Maa Mala/Rosary
Prem Se Bolo Jai Mata Di
A beautiful hand-made mala or rosary
dedicated to Durga Maa.
Ideal to wear as a necklace and to use
in japa and chanting
She is the fierce aspect of Shakty, the Divine Feminine.
I made this mala in the same pattern as the Rosary of the Holy Mother.
She is one and the same, by whatever name you call Her.
I used freshwater pearls in four different shades of white, pale pink, bronze and cream, interspaced
with swarovski crystals and
beautiful bronze rose beads and a glass heart foil in the centre.
The pendant I bought from one of the traders outside the temple at
Haridwar, India and it is stamped with the OHM on the back.
Here is a beautiful mantra to Durga Maa
to use with the rosary
Ya Devi Sarva Bhutesu Maa rupena samsthita 
Ya Devi Sarva Bhutesu Shakti rupena samsthita 
Ya Devi Sarva Bhutesu Buddhi rupena samsthita 
Ya Devi Sarva Bhutesu Laxmi rupena samsthita 
Namestasyai II Namestasyai II Namestasyai 
Namo Namah 
To the Divine Goddess who resides in all existence in the form of universal mother
To the Divine Goddess who resides in all existence in the form of energy
To the Divine Goddess who resides in all existence in the form of intellegence
To the Divine Goddess who resides in all existence in the form of true wealth
We bow to her, we bow to her, continually we bow to her
Asato Ma sadgamaya
Tamaso Ma Jyotirgamaya
Mrityur Ma Amritam gamaya
Which means:
From untruth, lead me to the Truth,
From Darkness, Lead me towards the Light,
From Death, Lead me to Life Eternal.
(Ma does not mean ‘mother’..its an ‘avyaya’ used for negation (Mayank)
Sharanaagata dinaarta
Paritraana paraayane
Sarvasyaarti harey Devi
Naraayani namostute
Which means:
Salutations be to you, O Mother
You who are intent on saving the downtrodden
and distressed that come under your refuge.
Oh Devi! you remove the suffering of everyone
Om Sarva mangala Maangalye
Shivey Sarvaartha Saadhikey
Sharanye Trayambikey Gauri
Naraayani Namostutey
Which means:
Oh Gauri Ma!, consort of Lord Shiva,
You, who bestow auspiciousness on all,
And fulfill everyone’s’ wishes,
I prostrate myself before Thee,
Take me under your care.
The following Mantras describe the various qualities of Ma:
Ya Devi Sarvabhuteshu
Shakti Rupena Sanshtita
Namastasyai Namastasyai Namastasyai
Namo Namaha
Which means:
Prostrations unto Thee, O Devi (Ma)
who dwells in all beings in the form of Shakti 
This mala, along with other rosaries are available in my shop
and more is being added daily for the next two weeks.
Jai guru maa!
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The true meaning of a Narcissistic One

Om Prem

Today I share this rendition of the myth of Narcissus, as told by Dr Clarissa Pinkola Estes with you.

Dear Brave Souls: I’d like to retrieve a far more indepth meaning to the ancient Greek mythos of Narcissus and what the word narcissism actually means aside from the debased way it is often used in much of modern culture. 

The rote idea often expressed is that Narcissus, a man, fell in love with himself. The pop psychology idea is that a narcissistic person is a person who is self-centered, ‘in love’ with oneself.

But, those are pale and often hackneyed wisps of the actual meaning of the word and the myth. Sometimes stories are murdered over time, by our accepting more and more vapid versions of what were once far deeper and far more mysterious, often anguishing and redemptive pathways that teach the way through. Once the ancient stories have been stripped of their numen, so are we also stripped of a certain way of seeing and knowing that is important to the life of the soul on Earth.

One of the oldest stories of Narcissus I heard long ago, was from old Greek babushka women living in my childhood neighborhood of post-WWII immigrants and refugees from many war torn nations. Unlike the vapid modern stories we sometimes hear in which Narcissus is a conceited man… The old women said that Narcissus was a beautiful young boy-man, a warrior who began with a heart of kindness, a spirit like an eagle, and a gentle and healing touch. He was caught in wars wherein enemies were made. He came to the river to wash the pain and blood of battle from his soul.

Eros, the God of Love (you see a debased form of Eros in our times, in the images of little chubby cherubs on greeting cards during Valentine’s Day.) whom I understand as both scruffy and homeless often, for mere humans would not always open their doors to the God of Love… Eros wished to give Narcissus a mate who would be the opposite of adversarial, one who would be helpful and faithful to him… and Eros had in mind a certain young female who had led her life in exactly that way, not flitting from one thing or person to another, but rather remaining near and loyal. 

So, as Narcissus was washing his tired and wounded body in the river, and the young nymph was near the river also, gazing at Narcissus with kind regard… Eros quickly dispatched two of his arrows faster than the speed of light… to strike both the young woman and the young man at the same time… for that was Eros’ only requirement from Olympus… that in order to cause people to fall into deepest related love with one another… at the moment the arrows pierced their hearts, the two souls had to be looking at one another. In that way, the troth would be fit. 

But in the midst of the two arrows flying through the air in a blur no human eye could track, suddenly young Narcissus bowed his head to pull up one more scoop of water in his hands to wash his face just more time … and thus when struck by Eros’ arrow, Narcissus had just glanced into the water of the river where his own war-worn face was reflected. 

This caused the young woman gazing at Narcissus to fall so deeply in love with him. But caused Narcissus to not recognize his reflection of himself in the water as being the same as he himself. 

And thus, as the old women told the story to me, Narcissus is not in love with himself… he is in love with one who can never find, who is watery –and wounded– and who rushes away and is invisible when sky is overcast, and which shatters each time he sees this image and reaches through the water for it. He cannot bring it close nor into wholeness again. 

And this is the torment of Narcissus who does not realize there are not two separate selves, but rather only one self reflected both in the inner world and in the outer world. The anguish is augmented by being unable to gather the selves into one.

Understand too, this story which comes through my own autobiography and the autobiographies of the old women, is one that came at a time when most all who were the old womens’ ages had lost their daughters and sons, husbands and parents to a bloody decade of murderous war. The story of Narcissus was not a fantasy, not a legend. For us who lived with what remained of human souls who had managed to survive war, yet who often were stunned into a form of not believing any longer in many treasured things… the story of Narcissus was a living story, not a dead dry old tale.

Too, the ancient story, which is a tragedy, tells then of the young woman who now so deeply in love with Narcissus will not leave his side, and remains and remains with him, nearly sick with love for him… and as Narcissus, with Eros’s arrow through his heart keeps saying to the watery image, I love you, I love you… so does the young woman repeat what Narcissus is saying. She says to him, I love you, I love you. 

The old women were silent then. I was much older before I understood they were remembering something… I think times of their lives when loving and being loyal to someone, perhaps more than one someone, walking with a clear arrow of love through the heart… but that great love did not come to fruition, was not reciprocal, was not returned. Most souls hardly would need to be past age ten to have experienced such already. 

Thus, the rest of the ancient story, was as poignant. It was that the young woman began to disappear, day by day there was less and less of her to be seen, until one day, it was said, all that was left of her, was her beautiful loving voice, telling her heart to Narcissus, I love you, I love you… as he himself said same to the watery image. 

Thus, the young woman who once was flesh and blood and now only a voice, was named Echo, in this case reflecting over and over in her own watery way, the intention of love… but without it being able to bring that love down to earth. Thus, repeating over and over, the best of whatever she heard of love in all her surrounds. 

I should mention to you too, that in curanderismo, the ancient healing ways found throughout the Americas, the Caribbean and across the world… the narcissus plant, grows from a bulb, its food source carried underground in the dark, and it is related also to the daffodil and the amaryllus. 

The actual word narcissus, comes from the Greek ‘narkissos,’ which does not mean self-centered… it means ‘numbness’ … for the narcissus has in certain infusions a narcotic effect. 

In this way, more properly, in the sense of “narcissism’ despite Freud’s and Rank’s and Jung’s and H. Ellis’ and other 19th century shrinks’ points of view, it may be that rather than self-centeredness being the point of psychological narcissism, it is being numb to true self and to others’ pain, that is the larger issue… an odd and consistent disinterest, a discounting of the predicaments, peace, and sufferings of vulnerable others. Numbness may in fact be the far more poignant insight. 

This comes with love and with peace, as we contemplate the strange ways of the world and our human conditions, and that there often is imbedded in stories from ancient times, if not pathways through, then critical insights into that will help us through, nonetheless. 


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Birthday of Mother Mary – 8 September

The dates of 7 and 8 September are the most sacred to devotees of Mother Mary.  The 8th of September is known as Her birthday.  The first initiation into the Temple of Mary is taking place on these auspicious days. 

Mary is personification, embodiment and goddess of  spirit in ‘matter’ (mater = mother).  The sacred body of Earth and all living beings is the Mother.

As we approach the end of Kali Yuga, a transformation is taking place and a new mythos is being born into the consciousness of humanity :  that of the Cosmic Mother and the Sacred Feminine and very importantly and powerfully, the mythos of the Sacred Marriage, the Union.

Mary, as divine mother for our times,  is recognized in all cultures and traditions.  Here is an extract written by Elizabeth Clare Prophet in the lineage of the Ascended Masters :

Mary – World Mother

In knowing Mary as she really is, I have come to see her as a relentless and constant force, challenging the oppression of her children everywhere, in every faith, in every religion.
She is a World Mother, and I have seen this in her tremendous mastery of life. Her knowledge of administration and organization, as she has conveyed it to me, has given me the real teaching of how to administer my organisation and, with a very capable staff, bring it to this level of complexity of service that we enjoy.

The Mother Flame

When we want to master the details of life in any field, we realize that it is the Mother aspect of God that actually corresponds to Matter, or the Matter universe, as mater is the Latin word for Mother.
And so, here on earth, if we are going to accomplish anything, we must invoke the Mother flame. We must understand the Hindu concept of the Mother aspect of God as the Shakti, the active principle, the force that brings into manifestation the Father’s will.

Ask Mother Mary

So if you want to know how to get things done and how to get them done because your aim is helping people and glorifying God—which is our only reason for being—then ask Mother Mary. And you will find that she is truly a master and not an ignorant peasant woman who happened to be called to give birth to Jesus, as some would have us believe.

Virgin of the Globe - Mother MaryTwin Flame of Archangel Raphael

Mother Mary is of the angelic evolution. These hierarchies also serve on the seven rays of the Godhead that emerge through the prism of the Christ consciousness.
Mother Mary’s ray is the fifth ray, the ray of emerald green, the ray of healing. It is the ray of science, of medicine, of supply and abundance. The economy also comes under the fifth ray.

The Mind of Mary

Mother Mary, then, has great talents in many areas. I don’t think there is a field of human endeavor where she does not have the expertise and understanding to teach others how to realize and implement the highest and best goals. Mother Mary’s mind is vast, vast beyond comprehension.
As we see Mary in the present day, we move to the understanding of a woman in our midst—a Mother Mary who is as modern, as liberated, as tough, as determined as many of the finest women we might meet on earth who are fighting for various causes.

Friend and Companion

We need to see her as friend, as companion, as sister, although she may rightfully be called “goddess” because of the tremendous God consciousness she has.
We must not place her on the pedestal that forces us to become idolaters of her image. But we should revere her in the sense that she has great attainment and great standing in heaven and was chosen to be the mother of Christ because she had the ability to hold the light and the balance for his entire mission.

Mother Mary – Healer

And so the Mother comes to heal us of our sense of sin regarding ourselves or other people. She comes to liberate us, especially in the Christian world, of the enormous division that renders Christianity ineffective. And of course, she comes carrying the sorrow of the people of every single nation on the planet and the determination to help them as we give the prayers and the calls.

Archetype of the New Age Woman

Mother Mary Archeia of the Fifth Ray copyright TSLMother Mary has bequeathed to humanity the archetype of the New Age woman. By her example and constancy, she calls forth the Divine Woman in us all.
She not only shows us how the feminine principle can be redeemed, but why it must be redeemed in order that the Divine Manchild as the unfolding Christed man and Christed woman might appear within every son and daughter beloved of God.
Until the feminine principle of the Godhead is ennobled in each man and each woman, the Christ cannot be born. And until Christ is born in the individual, the evolving identity of man and woman cannot experience the new birth.
Thus, the rebirth of the Christ in man and woman, often referred to as the Second Coming, is necessary for the salvation of the soul; indeed the individual Christ Self is the Saviour of the world of the individual.

Mary’s Appearances Since Her Ascension

Since her ascension, Mary has made several famous appearances and continues today to respond immediately to the call of any and all of her children on earth. In the twentieth century alone, more than two hundred appearances of Mary, the Mother of Jesus, have been reported in over thirty countries.
Some claim Mary has appeared to them as they pray. Others say they have watched her statues “weep” or have seen her images on walls or windows. And some tell us that Mary has revealed to them urgent prophecies and secrets.
Mary has entrusted her messages to unlikely ambassadors—not prelates or popes, presidents or politicians, but children and simple folk. Innocent ones who could receive her messages in humility and convey them with undiluted simplicity.
For forty years Mother Mary gave messages through Mark and Elizabeth Prophet to comfort and enlighten spiritual seekers of all paths.

Excerpted from The Age of the Divine Mother, The Golden Word of Mary series by Elizabeth Clare Prophet.

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Upcoming retreat by The Temple of Mary

Rose Window Cathedral Notre Dame de Paris
Many voices tell us the same message in different languages, symbology, hidden messages and at times obscure poetry.  One has to keep in mind that there is always power at play.  When you have something that someone else wants, you are holding the power.  This is also true for the ‘spiritual’ journey.  There is only one way to ‘know’ and that is to trust your heart and to disobey the Judge.
Seemingly a simple and straightforward step, to trust yourself, but as we know, layers of conditioning have distorted your mind and has led you to believe in the ‘other’ within.  At all times you are self-conscious and aware of watching yourself or being watched by others and acting on the assumption that you are separate from ‘God’ and that there are others who know better or more.
When you discover that you are the ‘other’ and that all beliefs in separation grows from your own mind, you face an inner chaos and darkness which seems impossible to navigate and survive.  And it seems easier and simpler to hold onto someone else’s belief system or to jump back into trying to control your physical reality.
True knowing is not an intellectual activity.  The left brain that continually analyses and tries to make sense of what is going on, depletes your energy system;  breaks down your immune system;  opens you to accident and events that is hurtful.  The left brain ‘rapes’ and plunders the psyche, the Soul within, the heart which is intrinsically part of the One Heart.
This inner division grows into a web of characters and sub-personalities and the inner child (the heart self) becomes stressed and falls into childhood patterns of thinking and reacting.  You may feel overwhelmed and disheartened by the ‘state of affairs’ when you look upon ‘the wasteland of the lands ruled by the wounded fisherking’.  Indeed, fairy tales and myths, mystics and religions alike, have been telling us that we are living in the age of the mind, the brilliant Sun, that scorches the land in the absence of the rain of mercy.
In the alchemical process we are shown the importance of becoming the one.  Or I should say, realising the One.  The duality is created by the mind – the One exists at all times, behind the shadow play of the mind.  And remember, this is not an isolated case of Maya;  this is a collective group mind that has developed through the Age of the Father.
 The first step is to become one in the personality self.  To end the voices of dissension and self-sabotage;  to unite under the Beloved leader within and to obey each and every command of the heart, without question.  One could call this Answering the Call.
Once you have answered the Call, you have to stay with the course, despite the winding labyrinth that your journey takes.  Here you will face many adversaries :  distractions, fear, doubts, suspicion, and running after every red herring that crosses your path.
But it is to stay focused, with your eyes fixated on the symbol of the Beloved, reminding yourself that this work demands the tempering and forging of the sword (the symbol of the mind that serves your healing and highest purpose).
The symbol of the Beloved in the Temple of Mary is indeed the Eternal Bride, the Beloved Goddess and the Sacred Feminine, the Feminine Soul of the One.  The qualities of the feminine are wisdom, beauty, mercy, grace, compassion, nurturing and feeling :  an all-embracing Self that creates and births the alchemical container through Self-Acceptance and Self-Love.
The centre of the alchemical process is the hermetically sealed container and the ability to live with the pressure and the tension of the ‘cooking process’.   Indeed, the many layers of the self will be melted down and this is not a glorious process.  It will invoke fear and resistance in you;  you will try every trick in the book to escape this certain dissolution of the walls of the castle;  and you will fall and you will fail.  But you always have the choice to return to the Great Work and to pick yourself up from the last fall and to take the next step.
The Great Work is the Hieros Gamos, the Sacred Marriage between self and Self;  Heart and Mind;  Psyche and Eros;  God and Goddess.
You right now, already know yourself as all of the above, you are just not aware that it is indeed conscious and present.  Who is looking through your eyes right now?  Who is reading these words?  Who is it that feels great love awakening within your heart?
Maria Sophia is one of the oldest names of the Goddess in Sanskrit.  Maria Prophetissa is the oldest known Alchemist in our mythical history.  She is the Soul, the Shekinah, the in-dwelling Divinity and Presence in you.  The undivided One.
Why do we refer to Her as feminine?  Why do we use gender at all?  Why the Great Mother and the Goddess?
Do not be blindsided by the terminology :  symbols are a way of describing that which we cannot describe with words.  Words limit our knowing and experience as it puts us back into the left brain.  By stepping into the imagery through ritual, ceremony, movement, sound, contemplation and witnessing our feelings, we immerse ourselves into the Knowledge of the One :  the One who is closer than your own breath.
This is a small taste of what you can expect during the first initiation of the Temple of Mary, during the weekend of 7 September.  A weekend of awareness and direct experience;  simple and practical exercises to awaken the inner knowing;  ritual to stir the unconscious and bring the Love to light – a balance between structure and free flowing.  You will receive a note book which you can read in leisure after the retreat and keep with you as a guidebook.  This weekend will be the first of many – each designed to deepen the knowing of Love and to support you as you step out on your path of Soulful purpose and meaning.
All energy blessings (diksha), darshan and any blessings that you receive during this weekend, you may use for your own healing and the healing of others;  you may freely pass it on to others and you will be shown how to do this.
In Grace
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My Sacred Heart

My heart sinks,

On fire,
Setting into the ocean

Flaming arrows of light

I breathe in the Sun
The sweet saltiness of the sea

Receive its soothing warmth

To paint a path of golden light
Amber liquid

Searing my throat

Flowing down into my hurting self

Sewn together with love’s intent

Accept the agony of the piercing needle

Winding in and out

Attaching the bridal gown

With the silken thread

New choices

Sanctity to be restored

Free the sacred heart

Undo the silken cord
                               – Hettienne